Am I really Ready?

No, no no! Is all I can say. I thought that I was, but I also forgot that I have never done this as a mom! I hate the Navy this evening, and although I know this is what I signed up for, doesnt mean I have to like it! I would vent this on the mommy board, but again lack of support and comfort are present there. I guess it is because I am no known by many of the people on the board, but there is just a lack of support. Most things posted there by me, go to the bottom or next page! Oh well! I am joining the FRG group, which is great for me. I need to be surrounded by people who know what I am going thru. What being married to a deployable husband is like and what being on surge truly means! I also question my job status alot. Do I stay working full time, do I find a part time job? I dont know. I love the income, but the job is tiring and makes me irratable. I also feel as if my children are being abandoned. What to do, what to do...more to come I am sure!

Great night...

Recently I have made friends with our neighbors, Mikki and Jason...who have also introduced us to some other great friends, including Ms. Kim! Well Mikki is out of town (the baby they are adopting is due any day now) and Jason came and hang out along with Ms. Kim! We had a blast, we ordered Chinese food, drank Moscoto and watched Mama Mia! We laughed, cried and got a great out door show also! Let me explain....first, Jason calls for Chris to come outside, apparently two of our lovely teen neighbors were throwing punches over a girl (soooo not worth it) and the guys had to break it up! Kinda sad, but entertaining! Then we told them to break it up or we would call the cops (obviously not fans of teen troubles, and in the three years I have lived here, I have never seen it! ) so they left....well after Mama Mia finished, Kim and I went to walk her cutie dog Reece and noticed about 20 cars on the street that have NEVER been there! Odd right...well we watched as about 25+ teens came walking out of a house of the road (some of which were in the fight) and get into random cars,,,,,some carrying containers that I am pretty sure were alcohol! I cant say for sure if it was...so I was at no grounds to call the cops! If you knew the size of my house, you would know that 25 people in it would never work! So that was our show for the night! We came back in, drank up some more yumo wine and played Scene It movie trivia on the xbox! It was nice to just hang out and be with our friends, and have no worries, esp since lately we seem to have many of them! I havent blogged about Christmas yet because it was so bitter sweet! The whole week I was in NJ, my Pop was in the hospital with Kidney failure...and I am just not ready to accept it...So that blog is for later!

Cookies with Hillary, Puzzles with Daddy...

So I realize it has been a while, but sometimes life just takes over what I am doing! this weekend was so much fun! Chris was in a great mood, and the girls were excited that we are getting closer and closer to the biggest birthday celebration of the year! Jesus' birthday! We spent all afternoon sat with Hillary! We baked 3 different kinds of cookies, snicker doodles, death by chocolate and reg choc chip! The girls had an absolute blast and loved every minute we spent with Hillary! We love having her around! The girls favorite were the snicker doobles, rolling them and then rolling them in the cinnamon sugar combo! Except Candace was throwing them, since they looked like balls! So much fun..............After the beautiful Sat we spent, we thought hmmm what to do on Sunday.....well we slept in a little bit, and then stayed in jammies and watched Wall E together! (Candaces all time favorite movie) and I made homemade corn chowder....thanks to Toni is a family fav! In the afternoon the girls got out thier puzzles and so did chris! He bougth a beautiful Thomas Kincade puzzle and wants to finish it and frame it! So lovelyl....He let the girls 'help' although they knew it was soooo hard! Lots of fun! Beautiful weekend...

Trip to ER!

To start, I hate this time of year! OK well I love the beautiful colors, the cooler temps, the leave piles the girls love to make! However....I hate cold/flu/strep/fever/whatever you catch season! Yesterday and last night was awful! My poor baby, Annika, woke up at 3 am Monday with vomit and a high fever. She didn't get much sleep, neither did I, and was puking or dry heaving (sorry I know, TMI!) but couldn't stop! After a full day of crazy fever, vomit and not wanting to stay awake, we decided that I needed to take her to the ER. What a way to spend my wedding anniversary! We got to the er and they bumped her straight in, and immediately said she had to have fluids and fast...So they pinned my poor baby down and put her first ever IV in and lets just say I hope that the nurses have their hearing back. She got two rounds of fluids, a small dose of anti nausea meds and then the last IV was a antibiotic! She has strep! While I was getting her into a itty bitty gown, I also noticed that the side of her leg was red and swollen (nothing to do with the strep) so I had the dr look at it. It turns out she has celluitis on her thigh! Poor thing, it was not that Sunday afternoon when she got a shower, so of course I didn't know, and since she barely moved to and staying in jammies all day on Monday, I had no idea and of course felt like a horrible mom! This afternoon I am taking Candace in to get her swabbed and make sure she is healthy! Like they say, this too shall pass???RIGHT????

Today is the day

Those words always remind of a great song that we used in Vacation Bible School with the kids, Today Is The Day. I can still picture the kids doing the hand motions and laughing together while they sing it. Everytime the Lincoln Brewster version comes on the radio, immediatly I can hear childrens laughter. So why do I feel so down on a day like today, one that God has made and given to us? Today, for my family, is the offical day that my husband is returning to sea duty. I have been letting it all build up emotionally for me over the past few months, knowing that the reality of today was going to come. That does not mean I have to be ok with it, but instead be accepting of it and as a good wife, supportive for him. We have been blessed to have three years of shore duty, which seems to be a scarce thing in the military. We have gotten accustomed to Daddy being home at night, and home everyday of the week, on weekends, all the holidays. Even if it meant that every once in a while he had to work a duty weekend (the air show) or that he had to stay late, he still came home EVERY NIGHT. Now our lives are about to go thru a huge change. I have been praying alot more lately and re reading the book Power of a Praying Wife by Stomie Omartian (sp). The book was originally lent to me by a dear friend, that knew I was ready for my husband to walk with me on my journey, but knew that as a couple we were stuggling in this area. The words touched me and taught me that everything is on God's time. That God will walk thru this scary journey with my family, and when I am feeling as I am today, that I have a doubt in life, that HE will lift me and carry me if He sees it necessary.

When I got up this morning, I was getting ready to walk out the door for work, and in my normal routine, I almost forgot to kiss my hubby by (on leave til today), but I stopped my car, pulled back into the driveway and went in to kiss him. I am glad I did, I found him upstairs getting ready for the day, knowing Candace is ready to get moving! He sat looking sad and embraced me and did not let go, I know that he is sad that this day has come also. Emotionally I know that I CAN do this and that ultimately I have Him to help me, but I still tremble at my thoughts of not having him here.

I also have a great group of friends, who know my fears, relate to them on most levels and will help me get through it. I have expressed my fears to Jessica, and she has reminded me how strong I am and how many other mommies/wives I have helped through these hardships of seperation. She helped to remind me how proud I am to be a NAVY WIFE! Our husbands are out there defending our freedom! While they are doing so, it is our job to protect our families and let them know that we are ok, we miss them, but we are ok! So I plan to continue my prayers, my faith and my trust in God, but I am still in some what of a mourning period as most of us do go through..........

Missing my family

From afar! This is just a shout out to our family in Italy! We miss you and love you guys! Tell Emma and Ethan hi from Annika and Candace!

Life....

Sometimes life proves to have more temptations and challenges. These temptations and challenges in my life are seen as a way for God to test me, to make sure that I still believe and trust in him. For quite sometime, the temptations that were laid before me, I gave into, and headed down the path of life that was not destined for me. I am not saying it is the worst path in the world or that you won't be forgiven for the actions, but I knew in my heart that they were temptations that I should have been able to over come. Luckily along the path, He jumped out in front of me, almost smacking me in the head! He reminded me daily to trust in him and come back to his home, my church. I have come back to that path in life and I am continuing my journey! It is a amazing journey, and has helped me to see why God put me here on this earth and what my journey truly is. On this journey, I have made many friends, some that were meant to stay and help me walk my path and others that were placed there to tempt or challenge my journey. There truly is a season for everything and at times friendship is no different. Our journeys help us to see the people that He has meant to place in our lives and keep in our lives. Everyday I remind myself of these friends, and what a blessing they have been for me and how they have helped me walk, and not walk alone! I know I am mumbling, but I feel it is nice to reminded of what our focus in life is, where we want our futures to take us, and to stand up for our Christianity!